Story of a middle class boy

 Hi, This is Shubham Saxena, I come from a middle-class family, I was born and brought up in Budaun which is a small town in the big state of Uttar Pradesh.

I have done my schooling from Budaun only, it was a very hard phase of my life, I came from a family which had home violence, I remember my childhood schools, I didn't do pre-primary classes, I have started schooling from class 1 only, My Bua ji was a teacher that time, so she used to teach me at home and she home-schooled me, My first school was Holy mission public school, I was there for three years which means I have completed 1st 2nd and 3rd classes from there and from class 4th they have changed my school, a second school was Divya bal bharti school which was the same school in which my Bua ji was a teacher, I have studied there for one year, so 4th was completed from there, At home things were not so good and sound, My father and mother used to have fights on a daily basis because of  my grandparents, they used to pinpoint things in a negative way against my mother and from the core that was the main cause of home violence, which has ruined my and my sister's childhood, I just do not want to remember that time at all, most people love to think about their childhood time however on the other side is me and my sister, who had the worst one, so after completed 5th, my parents moved to Bareilly and my third school was conventary school,  I have completed one class from there and then again school was changed from there I have completed another class and then school was changed again, completed another class from there so just like that school after school in Bareilly I have completed class 7th and then I was sent to Gurukul, In Haridwar, I lived there for two years, so completed 8th and 9th from there, That Gurukul time was quite like a roller coaster ride for me, A troubled childhood traumatic child, was sent to gurukul, I was so shy and introvert then, I learnt and suffered a lot there, so lets not go down that road much and be on this path, I have completed 9th, I was told that if I am completing my 10th from Sanskrit board, it may cause some trouble in future so, I called my father and told him about it, somehow he understood that and he took me back to Budaun also the another main reason for that was, he wasn't able to submit my fee there, so I was moved back to Budaun and got admission in Shri Krishna Inter college. From there, I completed my 10th and 12th standards from the Uttar Pradesh board which is a Hindi medium board. 

After that in 2009, I started college by pursuing a bachelor's degree with a specialization in Electronics and communication engineering, The year 2009, those were the day when time ran slow and technologies didn't take over the world too much, yes cell phones were there in our lives but those were keypad phones and mostly just used to make calls, that time people had social lives, so far I think at least I believe that if no one else does, I remember the day when I arrived at my college gate, it was a whole new experience for me, A boy who never went out, never stayed out of the city, never engaged with so many strangers all at once, Always being quiet and being fearful, If someone ever waves his hand up in the air just to clear up the fly, that boy used to get scared and startled all of a sudden like he was about to get slapped. that's what trauma I guess sounds like.

Well, one afternoon, after a long journey by train, I and my father were standing in front of a giant gate in the center of the city named Meerut, That was my college's gate, I remember that day very well for so many reasons, One- I got lost in an unknown city that day, Two- I saw my wife that day for the very first time, Three- I was experiencing college life's first day.

we will talk about all three reasons here, Please do not worry, So let's start from the Third reason first.

Three- I was experiencing college life's first day 

yes, so we were at the college gate, My father and the guard had some conversation and then he asked my father to do some gate entry formalities after he allowed us to go in, We entered inside and it was a three to five minutes walk from college gate to main building, we walked in and from my perspective, I was so freaking excited from that day since I have heard it from my father's mouth that I can go out to study, that night when we were about to leave the next morning, I remember, I couldn't even sleep out of excitement, so when I was walking down that road inside the college gate, I cannot express the feeling I was having, It was all like very new for me and I was full of joy and yet scared at the same time, we went in, My father had a contact there in college, a subject teacher was my father's friend and he only suggested him to admit me into that college for further study, so he introduced me to him when we reached there, and then there were formalities which my father had to do, I was asked to be seated in the entry hall which was also the main entrance of the college for everyone, so I was sitting there, was checking out the billboards, where photos, brochures and usual updates were pinned, it was all very new for me, same like for a new born who is looking at the world for the very first time. Then after a while, my father came out and he handed me some paper and told me to keep it safe, I needed to give that to the hostel warden, After that within 5 to 10 minutes only he just said, okay I am leaving now, its 3.30 college will be over at 5, wait there and when the college will be over, you can go to the hostel with the warden. I wasn't sure what to say, All of a sudden I was full of emotions and felt like crying, he left me standing at the building gate, I was having that paper in one hand and a duffel bag full of my clothes in the other, I saw him walking back to that road, he didn't even saw me by turning back to me once while going, I felt lonely all of a sudden and didn't know what to do or where to go, so I just went inside and sat there on the bench. millions of thoughts were roaming in my mind, I got up and approached the receptionist, and asked where can I find the warden, he was also the director's P.A, so he pointed me to the direction of his office, his name was Ajay Rana, I entered into his office handed him over that paper, he read it out and told me, okay Shubham, please wait outside till the college is being over and once the college is over, go out and sit in the college bus which will go out in the direction of hostel, you will find the boys who will be going to the hostel with you and they will guide you.

I was under the impression as my father told me that hostel was inside the campus only, with no need to go out anywhere, But he told me that the boy's hostel is under construction and about to be ready within a few days so we have rented out a building outside of campus for the boys. I said okay and came out.

sat there and started waiting for the college to get over. Everything was new to me and I was afraid of touching anything, so I didn't do anything and sat there looking here and there, looking at the photos of previous year's functions and events.

Two- I saw my wife that day for the very first time

So as I was waiting inside the entry hall, looking here and there and just waiting for the clock to hit 5, Some students started to come out of the campus, all the lecture halls and classes were on top and management was on the ground floor, So I have started to hear the noise of students climbing down the staircase, All of a sudden my eyes were laid on that bunch of girls who were going out, they were 3 4 girls, two were wearing jeans top one shirt pant and there was this one girl walking in the middle of all three, wearing a suit, carrying some books in her hands and the way she walked, I was just flattened there only, her eyes, her smile, It was just a 5-10 secs walk to cross the entry hall and for me, it felt like hours, for me time was stopped as I was looking at her, I don't know what was that but I felt something right there. I don't remember whether she looked at me or not, but I was just looking at her, and just like that they crossed the hall and went towards their hostel, yes, the Girl's hostel was inside the campus only. So who could have imagined that day that this girl who crossed by, would be my wife one day? But yes, destiny plays in a very secretive manner, After 13 years and 4 months, She is my wife and the love of my life. We got married on 19th Feb 2023. Sometimes I feel like, If I ever get the time machine, I would go back to that day and right there in that entry hall, I'd grab her hand and tell her this boy, sitting so quiet on that corner gonna be your husband one day. I am sure she must have got panicked, I think I have watched so many Sci-Fi movies ha ha. But I just love her so much and From that day whenever I see her, I just feel lucky to have her in my life, by seeing her that day I felt like, I have found what I have been searching for.

One- Got lost in an unknown city

I have never visited Meerut before, never even gone out much alone, every time there was someone with me all the time. So clock hit 5, and every student started to go out when the hall became a bit less crowdy, I picked up my bag and headed out, where all the buses which were all in yellow were standing, and in front of every bus, a bunch of students was standing, I came out, asked some of the students that which bus will go to the hostel, I remember there were these two three boys, who were in the hostel with me later days, they were standing in front of the bus and I asked them that day, they told me to sit in the same, it will go, I said okay and, climbed the stairs, went all the way back, kept my bag and sat on one seat, slowly students started to fill in, everyone sat, buses started to move and I was just looking for those faces to whom I asked about the bus and they said they will go to the hostel too.

hostel was only about 5 minute's drive from the college, which I found out later, we used to go there and come back to college on a walk only because there were some shops as well that is why we used to go there later on, but coming back on that day, I was sitting inside the bus, was listening to the conversations of other students, they were having fun, one or two asked me my name and branch, Of course, they must judging me by my clothing as well, I remember I wasn't wearing nice clothes, I didn't have many clothes that time, unfitted shirt, faded pant, leather shoes. I was concerned about that back then but it's okay it didn't bother me much because most of my focus was on the hostel part, the gateman, was calling out the places where anyone wanted to drop off, so I was just listening to him, its been a while, he didn't call for a hostel, I was worried but didn't ask anyone and kept waiting for him to call out. slowly students started to drop off stop by stop and then that time came when there was no one but just me the gateman and the driver inside the bus, they turned back and asked me, where do you want to go brother, I said hostel, he was so stunned and said, oh we have come so far now, it's just in starting and we are not going back, I would suggest you to drop off here and go back by auto or something, I asked the guy what should I tell the auto wala to go, he said just tell him the college name and he will go, hostel is just before the college. I dropped off of the bus and the bus left, it was around 630 and it was almost about to get dark, a boy not knowing anything about the place, was standing somewhere grabbing that bag in the city. I asked so many auto walas, but none of them knew where is my college, they were like I have never heard of it, I was so worried and so anxious, somehow an auto wala heard the college's name and said I know the highway on which there are all the colleges, it must be there only, I knew its right beside the highway, so I said yes yes it must be, I don't remember what he asked and how I managed thoroughly but it was a mess too, but yeah I remember, going back by auto, he said from here only all the colleges will start, so tell me if you remember yours, I knew my college was on the right side so I started to look out and fortunately I have laid my eyes on the college board and I said its this one, he stopped the auto, I came out and approached the gate, guards were there, I told them everything, said poochna tha na bhaiya, now who tells him that because of that only it happened. He called the warden and the warden came to get me, he said it's okay it happens, not to worry, and we will be shifted inside the campus soon. and you must start remembering the roads and places, there where we have our hostel currently in front of Subharti so just remember Subharti. we reached the hostel everyone was eating, he pointed me toward the room in which I was supposed to stay.

So yeah it was all about my first day and night at college.